This painting is showing me trying to fight off all the different parts of my life. Just now I don’t feel that I’m managing that at all. In fact, I currently feel completely alone.
I feel that I’m too much for friends and family. I’m also scared of burdening them. I’m told I need to be kind to myself and not take on blame that belongs to others. That is so hard. It is difficult to not blame myself, even though I logically know that no child could be blamed for any type of abuse. Yet in my head I can’t blame my parents. I blame myself. I feel I must have been evil for it to happen. I’m struggling so hard with this.
Just now I feel awful. I feel anxious and depressed with a helping of guilt. I guess I just have to keep trying. Hard as it is that’s all I can do.